That Guy With the Tumblr

I spend most of my time dwelling on my past. Sometimes the amount of my thoughts it consumes is almost embarrassing. My favorite movie quote of all time is “You gotta put your behind in your past” (Puma – The Lion King). I try to live by it, but it’s easier said than done. I started college when I was 15, but I wish I hadn’t. I never went to a prom or a dance. I know how to dance, I just was never asked and I was too young to ask anyone myself when I was a Junior and Senior. I am a dance instructor by profession while I go through school. I will graduate in May with a Bachelors of Science in Forensic Science. After that I will be reenrolling at MTSU for one year as a non-degree-seeking graduate student. I’ll take a couple classes and work, hopefully, as a hospital technician. After that I’ll be applying to medical schools. Music is my life. If I don’t have a song stuck in my head, it’s because I’m thinking about somebody or I’m super stressed. My favorite letter is “M” and my favorite three bands reflect that: Mayday Parade, Marianas Trench, and My Chemical Romance. Apart from those three I also really like Fall Out Boy, The Killers, Sleeping With Sirens, and now Explosions In the Sky. Most people don’t understand when I talk to them because I tend to use big words, even when diminutive substitutions would suffice. I used to want to be a veterinarian, but I like people just as much as animals. Other career options I considered for short periods of time have been a Biology teacher, a Physics teacher, an Actor, a Policeman, a CIA agent, a Forensic scientist, a Forensic anthropologist, a Medical examiner, and an Archaeologist. I am open about my past and hopeful for the future. I hate hard, but love harder. I fall for people when I see them at their most vulnerable. Those times they’re asleep and they take staggered, deep breathes. When they’re dancing and they think nobody is watching. When the mumble to themselves because they think nobody is listening. When they open up to me, or cry in my arms. Those are the moments where I fall in love. I do Jiu Jitsu, not because I worry about defending myself, but because I worry about defending the ones I love. I love short girls because I can pick them up and carry them. I want to kiss in the rain like in The Notebook but I’ve never gotten the chance.  I feel like I annoy people when I text them too much and they give one word answers. I wasted a year of my life on a girl I only got to see a few times because her parents didn’t like me. Because of that I’m more innocent than you might think, and not by choice. Most people think I’m gay, but really I just think that most guys are douche bags and I strive never to be a guy who could break somebody’s heart. My ideal date is sitting around watching Disney Movies, and if she wants to wear sweatpants and no makeup that’s fine with me. I like to sing and dance, but nobody can watch unless I’m performing or teaching. I over-think more than I “normal” think. I don’t open up to people. If I tell you my hopes and dreams or tell you about my family then I love you, in some form of the word. I eat very few carbs, because I used to be fat and I never want to go there again. I hate the way I look, but I try not to think about it. My body has as many scars as my heart from all the stupid cards I’ve been dealt in my life. I was never able to live up to the standards of my father, and that’s why I always strive to be the best at everything I do. Hugging is the best way to show affection ever. And any girl who shows initiative and goes for a kiss without being provoked wins tons of brownie points in my book. The great people in this world are never appreciated, and if people are able to understand everything I ever stood for when I die, then I will have failed. I write all the time. I have never done poorly on an essay. I write stories but I never finish them. I write songs all the time, and I was able to hear one to completion this month. I write songs about the people who hurt me or help me. Taylor Swift is hot, but she is way too tall. I can smell people. Once I become accustomed to it, the most random things will remind me of the ones I love: a shampoo that smells similar to your perfume, a solvent in a laboratory that smells like your hand sanitizer, an air freshener that smells like your house, whatever. I spend way too much time on Twitter and Facebook (Probably because my social life outside of media is generally nonexistent due to my busy schedule). I think that everyone comes into your life for a reason, and for some people it’s so when they leave you’ll appreciate what you get next even more. I flirt with pretty much everybody and don’t really realize it, but if I text a girl first, it means I find her attractive and/or she’s like my best friend. I like to keep pictures of people so I remember what they look like because I’m bad at recalling faces to names in my memory, even though I’ll easily identify them in person. I have a mildly photographic memory, and I’ll remember really ridiculous details. If I say you’re beautiful I mean it, because I think fake compliments are more hurtful than they are pleasant. I enjoy meeting new people, but first impressions mean a lot to me. If I hate you right away, it’s hard to win me over.  I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I definitely fall fast. I love getting into debates with people I don’t like, even when I know I’m wrong just to watch them squirm. I do impressions sometimes, but never upon request. I’m so random it’s not even funny sometimes. I may have ADHD, but I’ve never gotten tested. I think smoking is a terrible habit. I very rarely ever drink alcohol. I am a Christian, but I think that most Christians are so hard-headed it isn’t even funny. I believe in evolution, creationism, and eleven dimensions of reality, which is really funny to talk about to people who believe what they do simply because “the Bible/momma/teacher says so”. I play video games but only for short periods of time. I like when people sit in my lap. Not sexually or anything, just to be there. Cuddling is literally the greatest thing ever. I love to draw, and if the girl I marry one day doesn’t like that she needs to get over it because I will draw her little pictures for no reason from time to time. I like to give people I like stuffed animals so they can hold onto them. I love hats a LOT. I remember facts about people, but never their schedules. I’m bad at remembering phone numbers and important dates. If I could have any superpower I would be able to time travel, or possibly be telekinetic. I am somewhat scared of heights. I have a really long bucket list that somebody awesome will have to help me finish.  I like to video chat with people a lot, and I prefer calls over texting because texts are hard to convey emotion over. My biggest turn off is when girls complain about other guys in the present. I don’t care about a person’s past, but when she starts saying “Johnny bought me flowers today, but he isn’t cute” and “I wish I could marry Tommy” you’re losing me. I believe the expression “bros before hoes” was made by a ‘bro’ who never had a good ‘hoe’, and I much prefer the company of girls anyways. If you want to hang out with me and assume I won’t get attached, please don’t even bother because I’ll get used to your company. If I tell you I love you then you had better believe I mean it, because I usually just don’t say anything and let the feeling pass. I have a tendency to screw up the good things I get, especially relationships. Mostly because I assume the worst when things are the best. My favorite letter of the alphabet is “M” followed closely by “A”. I am far from perfect and when somebody tells me I am, I become very confused and feel a lot of pressure on me. I can never be “just friends” because it never works out. I always end up falling for them anyways and then I’m stuck in an awkward position that really isn’t worth it.